Tahle je z těch delších a zajímavějších. Nesuďte mě přísně za překlad, děkuji.
3.
Robot boy
Mr. an Mrs. Smith had a wonderful life.
They were a normal, happy husband and wife.
One day they got news that made Mr. Smith glad.
Mrs. Smith would would be a mom
which would make him the dad!
But something was wrong with their bundle of joy.
It wasn't human at all,
it was a robot boy!
He wasn't warm and cuddly
and he didn't have skin.
Instead there was a cold, thin layer of tin.
There were wires and tubes sticking out of his head.
He just lay there and stared,
not living or dead.
They were a normal, happy husband and wife.
One day they got news that made Mr. Smith glad.
Mrs. Smith would would be a mom
which would make him the dad!
But something was wrong with their bundle of joy.
It wasn't human at all,
it was a robot boy!
He wasn't warm and cuddly
and he didn't have skin.
Instead there was a cold, thin layer of tin.
There were wires and tubes sticking out of his head.
He just lay there and stared,
not living or dead.
The only time he seemed alive at all
was with a long extension cord
plugged into the wall.
was with a long extension cord
plugged into the wall.
Mr. Smith yelled at the doctor,
"What have you done to my boy?
He's not flesh and blood,
he's aluminum alloy!"
"What have you done to my boy?
He's not flesh and blood,
he's aluminum alloy!"
The doctor said gently,
"What I'm going to say
will sound pretty wild.
But you're not the father
of this strange looking child.
You see, there still is some question
about the child's gender,
but we think that its father
is a microwave blender."
"What I'm going to say
will sound pretty wild.
But you're not the father
of this strange looking child.
You see, there still is some question
about the child's gender,
but we think that its father
is a microwave blender."
The Smith's lives were now filled
with misery and strife.
Mrs. Smith hated her husband,
and he hated his wife.
He never forgave her unholy alliance:
a sexual encounter
with a kitchen appliance.
with misery and strife.
Mrs. Smith hated her husband,
and he hated his wife.
He never forgave her unholy alliance:
a sexual encounter
with a kitchen appliance.
And Robot Boy
grew to be a young man.
grew to be a young man.
Though he was often mistaken
for a garbage can.
for a garbage can.
Chlapeček robot
Pan a paní Smithovi si báječně žijou
Normální šťastný manžel se šťastnou ženou
Jednoho dne se pan Smith rozzářil na zprávou
Že paní Smithová bude máma
No a pan Smith bude tátou
Jejich uzlík štěstí jako by však někdo rozbil
Vždyť to vůbec člověk nebyl
Jen chlapeček robot, teď s nimi žil
Nebyl teplý ani roztomilý
A neměl žádnou kůži, to pomohlo jejich splínu
Namísto toho byl studený, pokrytý tenkou vrstvou cínu
Na hlavě měl trubky a dráty hrozivý
Jen tam tak ležel a zíral
Nebyl mrtvý, nebyl živý
Jen v jeden čas vypadal živý maličko
To když se dlouhým kabelem
Spojil s elektrickou zástrčkou
Pan Smith křičel na doktora
"Co jste mi to dal do vínku?
Nemá srdce ani krev
Je to jen slitina hliníku"
Doktor slušně odvětil
"To co vám teď řeknu
Bude znít velmi divoce
Ale vy nesmíte se pokládat
Za rodiče, za otce
Víte, pořád je tu otázka
Jak byl chlapec zrozený
Myslíme si, že otcem
Je mixér mikrovlnný
Život Smithových je nyní naplněn
Hádkami a pohromou
Paní Smithová nesnáší manžela
A on zas paní Smithovou
Nikdy jí neodpustil její bezbožné spojení
Odporný sex
S kuchyňským zařízením
A chlapeček robot
Se stal mladým mužem
I když si ho často pletli
S odpadkovým košem
Jooo... tak to fakt čumim jak umim:)supr překlad, fakt vtipný - jde ti to;)